I recently read a story about how a woman in Australia gave birth to twins prematurely (6 months), one of the twins was pronounced dead by the doctor. Being told that, both parents held the newborn towards their chest with lots of skin-to-skin contact and within two hours, the baby was breathing and alive. This story made me feel so warm inside and even as I type these words, I can feel a tingle all through my body.
This story is so beautiful on so many levels and resonates with me so much. Looking back at my life over the last 5 years, the most important ingredient for my transformation (from my depression to now being happy and full of joy) has been the consistent love and nurturing I provided to the parts of me that needed it most. It was as if parts of me were dead and numb and when I started to lovingly parent those parts of me, I started to come alive again.
And I believe that’s what more of us need in our journey towards great health and happiness. The bootcamp and sheer willpower approach just does not work. It may be sustainable for a short period of time, but then you burn out and become resentful, shamed and guilt-ridden. We can’t scare or force ourselves towards wellness, it truly has to come when you feel worthy and deserving of it. And the way you feel worthy and deserving is to know you are loved, no matter what. A parent’s love for a baby is unconditional.
And to know you are loved may start with affirming it. If you rubbed your heart in a circular clockwise motion, you can say “I deeply love and accept myself” a few times. Even that starts to send signals to you and parts of your brain that you are loved and loveable at the core. Touch is very powerful and unleashes so many feel-good brain chemicals such as oxytocin which makes us feel more emotionally stable, trusting and more bonded.
As we affirm love for ourselves, we will begin to do things that are more self-loving. We start to make better choices with food, we set boundaries with people, we take better care of ourselves, we think more positive thoughts and have more loving responses to our feelings and emotions, we don’t judge ourselves so harshly, we don’t condemn or loathe ourselves and we give ourselves better tools to handle life’s challenges. Overall, we become happier, healthier, more peaceful and more joyful.
When we lovingly parent parts of us that need it most, we lovingly invite those parts of us to shed the pain and the barriers to feeling and living life to the fullest. Most of us go into this hyper-protective mode. We have been hurt and we form these walls by blocking certain parts of ourselves and self-medicate by working too hard, eating too much, drinking too much, drugs, etc.
Doesn’t the story about the baby that was lovingly nurtured to life make us all want to nurture those parts of us that need it so we can feel truly present and truly alive?
Click here for the story I mentioned in this blog, about the miracle baby in Australia.