I have often heard and have frequently said, “I can give love, but I have trouble receiving love”. I now realize that I was mistaken. When I thought I was giving love, it was really that I was acting from my kind-hearted and compassionate nature. And the love I thought I was giving was ego-based and fraught with fear and attachment – concern whether the ‘love’ I gave would be received, fear of losing the object of my love, fear of being hurt, etc.
Only recently have I gotten glimpses of love that is truly universal and Divine. That kind of love is not tinged with any fear or insecurity. And to give that kind of love, it’s not draining. In fact, it fuels you. I used to say, “I can give love, but I have trouble receiving love”. I was not talking about real love.
Real Love or Divine Love is a well that never runs dry. When you tap into your Divine well of love and give from that place, it fuels every cell of your being and as soon as you give that love, you automatically receive it without thinking or wondering whether you know how to receive love or not. It happens automatically.
Divine love is soft, sensitive, non-judgmental, impartial and light. It’s the love we get glimpses of when we look into the eyes of a newborn, a beautiful butterfly or a magical rainbow. It’s the grace and miracle we see in nature and life.
While we may prefer certain people and feel connected to them, Divine love does not contaminate that preference by making it a ‘special love’ only reserved for that one person. Specialness in love and relationships go counter to the feeling of Divine Love. Because within the context of specialness always comes attachment, roller coaster of emotions (from attraction and pleasure to fear and insecurity) and inevitable pain.
When I used to give love from my ego-self, it was always complicated and carried with it expectations, fear, insecurity and I would inevitably be drained. I would then close myself to receiving love for fear of being hurt by the other person by letting her into my life. That is not love; that is attachment.
Saying you can give love and not receive love may seem altruistic, but it’s really about control. The act of giving (ego-based) love and not opening yourself to receive puts you in ultimate control for what you want to experience. If you don’t open yourself up to receive love, you can control how much hurt and pain you think you will experience if you became truly vulnerable.
But that is a fallacy. Because by giving Divine Love which is the only real love there is, you are automatically open to receive Divine Love. That kind of love is not complicated and not tinged with any control dramas or fear-based scenarios.
Divine love is freely available, freely given and freely received. When you give from that place, you feel light and you feel fuelled and you immediately feel love coming towards you. We don’t have to keep tabs and assess whether we can give or receive love or not. As soon as you decide to align with God/your Higher Self and give from that place, love is light, seamlessly given and received and fills you with nothing by joy. It gives you peace and lights your soul on fire all at the same time.