We have all experienced pain in our lives. That is part of the human experience. But what we have gone through as part of our growing experiences do not define who we are. Our life experiences all serve to help us become more of who we are and what we are meant to become. But to let the lessons define us is to trap ourselves in the role of victim and cause us to completely lose sight of how experiences and people in our lives who ‘cause’ us pain are really wonderful catalysts for our growth and healing.
Our purpose in this lifetime is to perfect our souls, to become what we are meant to become and to do so by surrendering to God and living in His Will. Surrendering is not a passive and lazy act. It is the ultimate way we take responsibility for our lives by saying we completely trust that God has a better plan for our lives than we can ever imagine. And the best use of our free will is to live in God’s Will.
You cannot ask God for what you want and keep Him out of your life in terms of living your soul’s purpose. Said, another way, we cannot have a partial relationship with God. We cannot say, “God, give me what I want, but spare me from all pain which may be necessary to become all that I am meant to be”.
Tapping into God is an all-or-nothing equation. Frankly, I find it comforting that I can call on God, an all-powerful, all-knowing resource to help me get through life’s twists and turns versus feeling I have to do it all alone. Until December 2006, even though I had a spiritual upbringing, I operated like everything was on me and that I had to work through everything and figure everything out. That’s why I finally broke down in December 2006 (I tell my full story on the home page of my website www.seemadasani.com.) because I simply could not do it anymore. It’s as if I had many plates spinning on poles and they were all crashing at the same time. At that one instant, I said, “God, there has to be more to my life than this” and it felt like I could breathe again.
By living in God’s Will does not mean that life becomes easy. It can mean that we go through pain as part of learning our lessons and to becoming who we are supposed to be. Layers may need to shed and strong attachments to people, things and ways of thinking and being may need to be overcome. In our process of surrendering to God’s Will, we also lift up all pain we have while going through our lessons and shedding the layers. In the process of surrendering our pain to God, it becomes alchemized into a wonderful mix of wisdom, peace, love and compassion for ourselves and others going through something similar.
Ultimately, I believe our purpose on earth is to shed all the layers that obscure who we are at our core and, in the process, help one another heal and love. And to do so, we need to go through our share of pain, in whatever form they take. It is the end result of overcoming our pain and learning the lessons that get us further into our truth. That is not to be confused with the throws of the pain itself.
Some people who go through pain, for example, feelings of abandonment, abused by family members, lack of love, etc., sit in that space and become defined by it. Saying this does not mean I am insensitive to other people’s pain, but I am only asking for us to become aware of the difference between the pain/growth lessons and our true essence which is so much more than our pain and our circumstances. The latter are important for us to evolve…but they do not define us.
I used to be someone who defined herself by her fear of abandonment, attachment issues, rigid, etc. That is how I used to compassionate connect with people, from our shared painful experiences. Now, I see myself as an empowered, still compassionate, person who surrenders the pain I feel from my issues to God so that, at the right time, I can be transformed to become more of who I am meant to be.
And it’s the becoming more of who I am supposed to be by overcoming my pain/obstacles, as Divinely guided, that defines me…and not the story of my pain itself. This allows us to lift each other up and recognize our own Divine connection and not be defined by our pain.